A Year Later; It's Time to Tell the Story

It started weeks before, but one year ago today it happened. Actually, it started months before with the receipt of written directions, but only weeks before were the directions carried out. IT was a phone call.

“Just got the worst news I could imagine.” my tweet rang out into the void.

Next steps were explained. Arrangements were made. Phone calls were made to families and friends. Bosses were notified so days off could get scheduled. The word wasn’t said. Everyone talked around it.

“It wasn’t what we expected.” I told her mom.

I don’t know when she first used the word, but I did in the next days while telling a friend from work. I got dizzy as I said it.

“Gretchen has breast cancer.” She’s 35 years old.

Appointment with the breast surgeon. We’re still in shock. The staff is rude. The lack of a family history is discussed. A new family history begins. The words mastectomy and lumpectomy are spoken with the nonchalance of cat and dog.

“Its the best kind of breast cancer to have,” we’re told as if there was such a thing.

More doctors; more appointments. Recurrence risks are explained. Tamoxifen treatment is refused. Radiation is mandatory. Genetic testing is negative. Surgery gets scheduled.

“I’m only going to take out a sonometer of tissue.” We were lied to.

Surgery is over. A one inch scar remains. Lab report tells of two and a half inches of tissue. She hurts. Intense, unfathomable pain. I’m powerless. I tell her she’s brave. Thanksgiving comes and goes. She hurts. I tell her she’s strong.. Christmas, New Years; she hurts. I tell her I love her. We call the surgeon.

“It will take over a year for the incision site to heal.” The truth this time, unfortunately.

Radiation. Permanent tattoos are put on her breast to guide the machine. Thirty five treatments. Five days a week. Seven weeks. Worst winter in decades. She goes to radiation. Two feet of snow knocks out power at home. I take her to radiation. The radiation pattern shows as “sunburn” across half her torso. It gets redder daily. Every day she gets more tired. Every day she hurts more.

“Congratulations, you’re a cancer survivor,” we were told after the last treatment.

There’s still healing to do. There always is after cancer treatment. “Survivor” is as much about beating the treatments as beating the disease. The fatigue vanished. The “sunburn” went away; mostly. The tattoos remain, but can be removed. The scar will always be there.

The scar has become a metaphor for me. Just as it will forever adorn my wife’s breast, the experience forever altered our lives.


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Its not in my nature to ask for donations and the like and I am not going to here. Gretchen and I supported charitable organizations in the past, and after ours and other family members’ (Hi Mike) recent bouts with cancer we give more. The organizations we contribute to and support are:

American Cancer Society
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
Livestrong


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Not long after we found out about Gretchen’s cancer, a recommendation came out for women to delay having their first mammogram from 40 to 50. Obviously the recommendation distresses us, but more worrisome is that doctors like Gretchen’s gynecologist can no longer order the test for younger women; like my wife whose life he saved.

Napa 2010 Day 7

Last day, and a difficult one to beat. We started at an old favorite: Grgich Hills Estate Winery. For those who've seen the movie Bottle Shock, the reality is that Mike Grgich was the winemaker at Montelena for the '73 Chard. They make a full suite of wines on their own vineyards which are both organic and biodynamic, so they are about as natural as you can get. Fortunately, Grgich distributes most of their wines so I didn't have to buy any here.

Whitehall Vineyards sits right up Rte 29 from Grgich so we stopped there and each did tastings. The wines weren't spectacular, but the Chardonnay was nice, so we purchased a bottle.

Out third tasting of the day took us to V. Sattui winery. A bit of a disappointment, V. Sattui is extremely commercialized, but has a nice deli and picnic area if you buy food and wine there.

Owned by Peter Mondavi, Robert's brother, Charles Krug winey also distributes widely, but they make a nice Port they only sell at the winery, so we each bought a bottle.

For lunch we went to Silverado Brewery, a really nice brew-pub in St Helena. I ordered the fish and chips and a pint of seasonal American Wheat beer which tasted great.

The last winery of the day completely made up for our earlier disappointments. Rick from Frank Family recommended we go to Bremer Family winery up the mountain on the Silverado Trail side of the valley. Richard poured us one of the best tastings we had this week and was a great finish to our vacation week. We spent two hours tasting, getting quizzed on wine (Bill got and A+++++), and totally enjoying ourselves with another couple that came in soon after us. Highly recommend, we even purchased a $105 Cabernet to bring home.

Grgich Hills
Whitehall Vineyards
V. Sattui
Charles Krug
Silverado Brewing Co.
Bremer Family

Napa 2010 Day 6

We went over to Sonoma for our wine tastings today. Sonoma seems less commercialized which is also reflected in the costs of the wines and tastings. You can find places which only charge $5 and there are still some free offerings on that side of the mountains.

We started down the southern end of the valley at Schug, in the Carneros appellation. Schug's tasting cost $5 and they waived the fee for each bottle of wine purchased. The tasting room isn't very large, but the counter is made of recycled wine barrel wood. Schug specializes in Pinot Noir, but they make an excellent chardonnay, so we bought a bottle.

A fun, worthwhile tasting can be found at Valley of the Moon winery. The tasting room has a huge bar (didn't matter since we were the only ones there) and is also a gift shop. They offer two tastings, a $5 regular and $10 reserve tasting, and the fees are waived with three bottle purchase. VotM makes a full suite of wines, including a sparkling and a port which can only be purchased at the winery. We also bought a couple rosé of sangiovese and two sangiovese's to get our six bottles.

Russel, our host from Pride yesterday recommended we go to Chateau St. Jean, and even gave us coupons for free reserve tastings. CSJ distributes some of the their regular wines, and the reserves are very good. We got a Chardonnay and Vionier. In CSJ's tasting room they offer sandwiches and salads brought in daily from a local deli, so we ate a nice picnic lunch in their beautiful courtyard.

For our last winery of the day we took a looooooonng drive up to the border of the Dry Creek and Russian River areas of Sonoma to Armida Cellars. We know Armida from a fun Zinfandel they make called PoiZin which they distribute to Total Wine on the east coast. Unbeknownst to us they also make a reserve PoiZin sold only at the winery and to club members each bottle of which comes in its own coffin box (see bottles below). Dad joined the wine club, so he will be getting two shipments per year in addition to the case of chardonnay, two reserve PoiZins and two Antidotes we shipped home.

We ate a really nice steak dinner in downtown Napa at Cole's Chop House, an á la carté steakhouse. Everyone ordered the filet and we shared mushroom caps and asparagus.

Places Visited:
Schug
Valley of the Moon
Chateau St. Jean
Armida
Cole's Chop House

Napa 2010 Day 5

A day of old favorites today. We started at our favorite winery in the whole valley, Frank Family Vineyards. We order FF's wines mail order by the case and guess what: a case is on the way back east now. Unfortunately FF now charges for the tastings with $10 and $25 options (like many other places), but since we are on the mailing list, and had visited so often before (4 times), they gave us the reserve tasting complimentary (shhhhhh). I can't express how much we enjoy FF wines, and you know you're in Gigi's club if we serve you FF at home.

Last time we visited Napa, I signed up for one wine club, unfortunately it cost $800/year. Eventually I came to my senses (Wifey forced me) and cancelled my membership, but Von Strasser's wines taste so good, and we had such nice experiences meeting Rudy the owner/winemaker, and Mark the GM, we had to come back. Even without a reservation, they took us on a tour of the caves, an exceptional treat considering the 92 degree heat today (a nice, cool dry heat for all you suffering in NJ humidity). Von Strasser specializes in Cabernet Sauignon, making many single vineyard wines, but we bought their dry blush, the one white they make (Grüner Veltliner, a shout out to Rudy Von Strasser's Austrian heritage), and a bottle (375ml) of their Petit Verdot Port. Only Bill's club members get the port so really have to be in the know to get some.

After the last time we came to Napa, I got a t-shirt, the back of which reads, "I survived the drive to Pride." Now having driven the drive twice, I say I earned it. Pride sits atop Spring Mountain, and their vineyards flow down the mountain into both Napa and Sonoma. Besides the excellent Vionier (got one) Pride's has GREAT picnic areas. Before starting out for the day we went to Trader Joes, and got some salads, sandwiches, and cheese; then we ate a great lunch looking out over the valley vineyards (above)

Finally, we stopped at Domaine Chandon, my favorite sparking producer. Chandon's tasting room doesn't offer any of the privacy or specialness of any of the vineyards we've been to this year, however they make good sparking wine. Aside: I don't say champagne since you can't call bubbly champagne unless it was made in Champagne, France, even if the winemaker makes it via the same technique (methode champenoise). Fortunately Chandon distributes widely (get some Étoile, its cheaper in NJ than here), but we bought a vineyard only Rosé of Pinot Noir.

Only Asta Club members get wines we bring home from vacation. So now you know all the 352 Club levels.

For dinner tonight we went back into Napa City and ate outside at Ristorante Allegria, a very nice Northern Italian restaurant.

Places Visited:
Frank Family
Von Strasser
Pride Mountain Vineyards
Domaine Chandon
Ristorante Allegria